ITS BEEN A TIRING DAY.

This is sucks, i don't know what exactly i am feeling. I just felt like, there's something utterly not right in me. Not because of anyone else [not the one i hate nor the one i love] it was seriously me alone. Whenever, i am alone, i tend to cry on my own sometimes, even before i go to sleep. What is exactly going on with me? What is so wrong in me now? I don't know, that's the simplest answer i can give. To think about it, it makes no sense. I felt something is coming after me, something bad, that i will leave everything behind, that i won't have the time to make my loved ones happy, and i'm like cramping all my time for them now, making them happy. No matter what the reason may be, only god will know. He's the only one that understand, how traumatised my life is now.

Outside, with friends, seeing my lao gong, seeing my family, it makes me happy. No tears i can cry. But, the moment, i'm alone, i will cry. Sometimes, i wake up in the middle of the night, i find myself, crying. I cannot get my peaceful night sleep nowadays. If god is listening, show me, what's wrong with me?

Now, i am alone in my room... crying. Don't know why?.. I was happy a moment ago, and now, i am like sad. And worst, i don't know what i am sad/worry about. Tried to get to sleep, but no i cant. Never mind, i have to overcome this.

I will start to cry when i felt i am alone and something is after me. ARGH! That is why, i get so pissed off about the grace's reporting thing. And it makes me more uncontrollable.


I FELT, SHE'S TAKING AWAY THE LOVE I HAVE FROM MY PARENTS BEFORE. BUT I HEARD WHISPER SAYS, SHE ARE NOT. HOWEVER, WHY DID I ALWAYS SEE HER CONVERSATION WITH MY PARENTS ARE CHEERFUL ONE, WHILE MINE, A DULL ONE. NO, I CAN'T HATE HER. BUT WHO IS SHE? JUST AN OUTSIDER? MUM DOESN'T REGARD HER AS THAT, MUM REGARD HER AS A DAUGHTER AND THAT'S WHEN I FELT ISOLATED. IS SHE TAKING AWAY THEM FROM ME? AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CRIED WHEN I'M ALONE EVERYNIGHT!!!!!! ITS HER! ARGH!