Hello people.

Work today was fun. I was stationed at the same place as yesterday, so there's nothing new. :D
I love the people around there, they are all friendly. I admit. :D
Stephanie, taught me a lot today. Thanks to her. :D
Ended work at 9.30 pm today.
:D

I love the job, cause i like the thing where i have to approach customers. :)
Haha.

I love my name tag. Super cool can? haha.

:D K, i better get going.


:D :D Double happiness.

Today was tiring, didn't sleep last night due to some random drama. I know, that's rather pathetic. However, i just can't help it. The drama gets better and more and more ; CRAP. I will cut it here. LOL.

Anyway, today's work interview was awesome. It's like finally, i manage to grab a job and i promise i will do well. The job is interesting, i like it. Thanks Li Yan and Shu Wen for introducing me to the job. So, Hazel's says she will give me a call if she needs someone to work, as she needs to do some rosters. :D How happy?! Li Ting applied too. Nice nice.

Alhamdulilah. :D

Okay, i think i better get going. Bye.

I end up having my own dinner with my family the other day. All thanks to the idiotic traffic. ARGH! It's over anyway, it's not like the last outing. We can always plan more more outing darlings. :D

Anyway, yesterday was just plainly me and the rain. Very boring. I planned to pay westmall a visit, but it have to be cancelled. Thanks to the weather. Hahah.

Haha. Pictures will be uploaded. Sorry, i'm plainly lazy.

Pet-society, rise to a new level. HAPPY HAPPY.
heh.

:D I got a lot of coins too.

I've finished my drama, it's super nice. :D

Buying new one.

Next friday, is an outing with atiqah. :D Can't wait.


:D :D

Bao bei,

I love you.

:) This is the poem i told you. Haha.

Sometimes, what i feel outside is not what i really feel inside.
Everything was my fault, every single thing.
I'm the bad one.
It's okay.

It's just me and the laptop today.

I was pet society-ing. Indeed, it's very egg-citing. I should have joined this game before hand. Today was nothing much.

Boyfriend, is not at home. He's out for 3 days for chalet. Kinda sad, kinda worried, and many more. Anyway, hope he enjoyed.

I think better get going. Pictures will be uploaded. Yes, i snaps today :D !

Bye darlings.

Basically, yesterday was drama day. Watched Single Daddy Fall In Love with my elder sister. We were freaks. Imagine, we tried to finish the drama. It took us like hours hours hours! Started at 2 in the afternoon and ended at 2 in the morning. How freak can that be? Haha!

Today, we continued halfway through and we didn't finish it yet cause we need to go to JB for dinner. It's awesome. We ate at stonegrill. It's delicious, except the tom yam's fish. It sucks. Well, we ordered like a lot and we didn't realise it. In the end, we really have to finish it by force. hah. The best part is, i didn't realise that i finished up the chicken noodle soup. It was hilarious on how i react. HAH!

Oh, while having dinner at that particular place, we girls were served like princesses. We were super honoured and for the very first time, me and sisters were treated by awesome looking guys. HAAH! Too bad, they aren't Singaporeans. haa! Anyway, the guys cut our meats for us, grilled it for us. One of them even try to catch our attention by jumping and trying to reach the jingle bells, which obviously he didn't manage to. He's short. I was laughing, and he smiled. hah! Paiseyy!

After dinner, we head back home. There's nothing much to do anyway.

Now, i'm home. Happily blogging away.

:D

Mum's operation went well.

Bye world.


<3

Cool, i will be attending the christmas dinner darlings!! :D Yeah, life has never been better than this. I'm grateful, i'm thankful that my parents, gave me the trust now. Life is way way way better than i thought it would be. I mean, i'm a young adult now, and yes, my family is treating my like one. Except for certain things, where i'm still controlled. Indeed, it pissed me off, but as they say "It's for your own good." Anyway, anyhow, i should bersyukur (be grateful) that my parents doesn't treat me like a prisoner and that i was given all the freedom i wish for. :D ! I won't betray that trust. <3

Okay, today.

Morning plans was cancelled. Everything was unexpected. A little disappointed, but i couldn't be disappointed for long bah. So, i'm alright now.

Plans in the afternoon went smoothly. Met Shu Wen, Kelvin and Shi Han at around 1 in the afternoon. We headed to City Hall, Marina Square. Bought something from Action City and we off for lunch. After lunch, we head back touring Marina Square, which obviously had nothing much to discover. Basically actually, everyone was looking out for presents for the Christmas dinner. I've see what could buy, and it is like snap! Haha.

We headed to West Mall after that. We went to the popular, then TCS, last, it was the Coffee Bean. Everyone headed home after that. :D

Okay, i better go. I'm going to start the Korea Drama series i just bought :D!

Doodles darlings, dears, bao bei-s , sayang-s. :D

No doubt, web cam is like super fun :D !



So you know, my dad just bought us a new laptop and it has a built in web cam. It was egg-citing. Yesterday night i tried video callings atiqah and bao bei. It was indeed fun, i mean, you know seeing each other. haha! :D Super egg-citing. Vely egg-citing. Haa!



Another thing, today was idiotic and pathetic. I had a bunch of nonsense time with myself. Singing nonsense all day long inside my room with my pathetic whole lot of fans. Haha! I acted, i sang, i danced. It's fun.

I think i better go. I'm irritated.

I'm bored. Pathetic is just the real word to describe.

Dear shitty diary,

Haha! There's no way i'm starting my blog that way. HAHA! D:

Anyway people, i'm super tired today. I worked very very hard. From 8 am to 5 pm. haha! Nah, it's not some office work. I was helping out at my auntie's wedding, so it's like super one whole tiring day. Please lah, those two guys should thanks me and my god sister, Aisyah. If it's not for us, they will go like... doing everything alone. Haah!.

Kaki cramp lah seyy. Jalan sana sini. Mind my language. Haa! So, ya, Aisyah, she's a new god sister that i met earlier just now. She's bubbly. It's nice being around her, at least i won't rot to bored. Haha! Okay, i'm crapping.

Okay, i think i'm going off. :D bye.

Boyfriend,

This is for you. I randomly learnt how to produce this video. I think, it's the best way to make you realise how much i love you and it's another way for me asking you NOT to hurt me anymore.

Please, hurt me no more. <3

Loves,
Girlfriend. <3

Boring.

Yesterday was another fukc up day.
Today is another.
Tomorrow will be.


I need to do something. Just what?

Life is just strange. It could be a incomplete puzzle for some, and to complete everything it wasn't easy. Especially when there is just yourself to solve the very puzzle for everyone. At certain point of time, you would just feel like giving up. However, seeing the faces of the people around you that flash rays of hopes and depending on you, it will just give you the natural motivation to go on.

Others might just give you a helping hand for a day or two, but the rest will remain in you. Isn't that called pathetic life? No, that isn't. That is just the part of life you have to go through. If you think you're worst, there's somebody that's more worst than you. If you think you're struck by bad luck all this years of living, there's somebody else out there that is even bad than you.

The point is no matter how hard life can be move on. Who knows, it might be for the better next time? Seeing you in tears, it make me cry too. No, i don't understand how you feel but i could feel how i will be if i were you. No father will laugh when they recall the death of their daughters. All that you can do now is, pray that they will be with the good up there.

Ah gong, you might not read this. However, i think you're strong. I watched your life story on channel 8's life transformers, today. Monday, 1-12-2008. I was struck by sadness. Repeatedly i said, if only i was there, being able to help. Really, but i couldn't cause i didn't know about this volunteer thing. At least, there are others who are willing to help. They are great.

I'm of a different race, a different religion, a different background.. but afterall we're humans. :D

Live strong ah gong. :D You're the superman of the house. :D ! Keep it up. Jia you.


___________________________

Yes people, i cried watching today's episode of the life transformers. It made me realise how much i should treasure my dad. I learnt that, no matter how harsh a father can be, love will still be with him. Being a dad is about being a future superman. :D

I'm bored.

=.='

When can i get my very own money? I want money.

Applied like a lot of work, attended like many interviews. However, i'm still JOBLESS! haiz.


=.='

Chalets' over.

It was the last day of gathering for most of us. I hate that.

Anyway, i'm superly not feeling good. My neck is killing me. It's aching the whole day since last two days. Perhaps, it's because of the fall i had. Well.. ya. The fall. Irritating and shocking fall.

Never mind.

I think i got to go. Bye world.

Good morning angels. :D

Oh, yesterday was great though didn't attend the prom night (which makes me sad). Anyway, prom is over. Now, the next big event is the chalet. I might not be attending today because there's some things at home. I will attend tomorrow, as i say, early in the morning. Haa!

Okay, so i heard Aiman was the Prom King. :D ! Cool, Congratulation dude! Darling says the night was fun. Gosh, how much i've been wanting to go but i couldn't. It's over, there's no point nagging and complaining about it. I won't be able rewind everything.

It's just simply days, i've been staying at home and i'm already bored. I need to go out but things back at home are just stopping me. So, i just basically been in my room for the past few days. Things i've done was simply bored. Haiz. This is so killing me.

I want tomorrow to come fast and i can enjoy eveyr seconds of it. :D ! Swimming. Chalet. Barbeque. Jokes. Laughs. Food. Games. Extremely cool. But, everything will end up with goodbyes. That's what i don't wish for. D:

So, i want tomorrow to come fast and end late. Very late. Later than late. Get it? So goodbyes will be far far away. Further than far. :D



To someone,
Do you? Please tell me if you do. I'm waiting.

Yesterday was like goodbye day.
Today was prom night, i won't be attending though.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of class chalet, i can't wait.

Well, i'm still depending on my allowance. Job is still not yet with me. I've been searching, i've been making calls, but they need 18 and above. So, it was not mine. It's okay. Probably, will start working after the class chalet. That would be nice. hah!

So, today i stayed at home again. Firstly, i'm running out of bucks. Secondly, dad is at home and so i have to stay at home. I did nothing since morning, but watched Korean movies. At least, there's something i can do.

Tomorrow everyone will be sleeping over at the chalet, but i will sleeping at home. Boring isn't that. And i will leave house early in the morning for pasir ris the next day. WOW! I want to swim swim swim. I hope i will be able to swim on that day (: ! Okay.

People, i'm getting worried now cause i have nothing else to do.

I think i better continue those korean movies. Bye lovelies.

TO GRADUATING CLEMENTEENS, ENJOY PROM NIGHT! TELL ME WHO IS THE QUEEN AND KING OKAY?! LOVE YA.

Hello.

I've cut my hair. Yeah, it was a nice visit to the saloon. (: ! My hair was layered, so, the different is not visible. However, i feel much much more better. hah!

Oh, tomorrow is graduation ceremony. Can't wait.

:D !

I better get going. Bye sweeties.

Thank you.

"When he come back, i'll be gone forever." -I LIKE THIS SENTENCE.

Today mark the end of O level. I'm happy, real happy. Seriously i'm out of the stress! Thank god, everything was smooth. Alhamdulilah.

Anyway, today went out with the girls[LI YAN, SHU WEN, LI TING, SELINA, CHEW HUI and HIDAYU]. Had a great day.

First, we head to takashimaya for Seoul Garden. (: ! It was indeed a nice place to have dinner with friends and chill after the hard days. We spent for nearly 2 hours or 3 hours (i can't remember) eating. A lot a lot! Haa! Me and Shu Wen ate the most, i suppose. Haa! We ate chickens, we ate fishes, we ate more chickens, then we ate more chickens, then we ate fishballs, we ate stick crabs, after everything, we ate ice cream!! 7 scoops ice cream for me and shu wen. haa! We drank a lot too. Then, last, we ate fruits. It's seriously cool. I want to go there AGAIN! haha.

Next, we head to Far East. We spent a lot of time there. Rounds and rounds. I bought my graduation day dress, hidayu bought her's and li yan bought a pretty prom night dress. (: ! It was super hard to get mine. I mean, i spend like hours and finally i decided to settle down with a dress. Like finally. Ha! Bought shoes too! I like the shoes, so much! (:

Ended shopping at around 7+ close to 8. Everyone headed home and i waited for my parents to fetch me.

Now, i'm at home. GOING TO SLEEP!





BYE.

I'm running bankrupt real soon.
I need job.



ARGH!

SO YOU THINK YOU WERE? I THINK YOU WERE NOT.

i despise this kind of people.

Hello there world.

Okay. It was rather weird today cause anger was filling me through out the day. I don't know the reason. Let's put this aside.

Anyway, i was 'spring' cleaning my cupboard when i found a bunch of letters. You know those friendship letters, poetries and even letters that were supposed to be send but didn't. Well, everything seems to bring back memories to me. The words in those letters were hilarious. It's like you're hit by moments of memories. Haah!

I read almost every single letter and a few made me cry, cause the letters brought me back to hurtful memories of the relationship. At the same time, it makes me wonder what makes me hold on despite of those hurtful things? Those incidents are still crystal clear in my mind. Those words are still playing in my mind. Everything, every scene and every expression returns when i read those letters. It's hurtful. Absolutely hurtful.

Well, some letters makes me laugh. Example are letters that wrote by my friends and me when we were like primary 6? And that was 5 years ago. Exactly, the words in those letters just reminds me of how childish i was during that time. ha! I was even talking love! Haah! That's just funny. Remember those days when we will bring along a 'diary' to school and requires our fellow classmates/friends to write their so called data's in that diary? Hah! I do remember that, but i lost those diaries. I had 2 of those. We will compete seeing who's desing will be the most nice one. It's just fun being in primary 6, when you thought you are all grown up but actually you're still a little kiddo in need of his or her parents. Haa! That's the reality.

The letters were really the main subject for my day today. I mean it really makes me recall my young days and my now days. Haah! When i was a kid, i had always wanted to grow faster and be like the teenagers around me and now, when i am a teenager myself, in fact a young adult i am, i prefer to be little kids where they know nothing. All they know was homework, friends, obey adults, sleep, eat, cartoons and games. Isn't that more fun then being an young adult? When you have to know every single thing in this world and you have to learn to solve every problems on your own. Facing every obstacles on yourself. It's not easy being a young adult.

You kids out there, treasure being a kid. Don't pretend to being us cause being us is no fun at all. There's a lot of thinking to do. Seriously. (: ! And let me tell you those thinking aren't easy to do. I bet the others will agree with me. (:

Okay, put those aside okay?! Now let get back to me spring cleaning my cupboard.

Besides those letters, i also found that i have lots of handbags that i yet to use. No wonder mum will nag at me when ever i decide to buy a new handbag! Haa! I get it now, but.. who cares? More bags is coming, hah! So, mum don't waste your time nagging at me. Ha! Afterall, i'm a lady. I need bags to be more presentable. Different kind of bags that suits my attire. Ha! I get it now, i'm getting more fussy in fashion. Is that a good or a bad sign? Suggestion.

Oh, speaking of fashion. I need to do a make over soon. Getting rid of those old fashion baju-s and start buying more 'me' baju-s. I mean, clothes that suits me and really present my personality, but first i need to make sure that my graduation day's clothes are ready before hand. Yes, i've known what to buy but i'm afraid my mind will change the moment i step in to the mall. Well, we'll see about that. I can't wait for that day. Can you?

I'm buying more shoes too. Oh, earrings, necklaces, bangles... watches. Err, i think there goes my one month salary. Hah!

Yeah. You're right. I'm planning to work after Os. To be precise, after the class chalet. I will be starting to find myself a job and get money. Planning to work with cousin, but we are still thinking where will we be working at. Hmm, planning planning. If his not up to it, i have to work alone i guess. Or with friends? Who? Not to think about it now.

Tuesday is coming. The day that will end every pressure. I'm waiting for it. MCQ! I will do very best for it and enjoy like mad after that. Parties, BBQs, chalets, lepaks and more! Yes right after the MCQ! (:

I'm done. I better get some sleep. Bye world.

Today was suppose to go out, but end up SLEEPING!
Never mind, i shall go out tomorrow and study, study, study!
Okay, i better get going. Bye angels and devils.


:D i'm kinda happy today but i don't know why. Perhaps, that dream?

Let's habbo okay?

Another paper is over. I've put my every bits of brain memory for the paper and as soon as i step out of the examination room, everything was auto deleted. Yes, everything. The paper was averagely okay. I did manage to answer the question. I'm still believing i can do it. Nope, not yet giving up. I'm having one last paper next tuesday. So, keep it up till next week girl! (:

Every morning as i wake up, i will always pray to Allah that my result will make me cry tears of joy. Yes, happiness over my results that's what i want after those hardwork and tiredness. I still believe i will do it! Yes, i will! (:

I think i better get going. Bye world.













PRAYING EVERY NIGHT AND DAY.

So, my name was gone. What's your reason this time?
Do not disturb me, will you? I need my own time. I'm sorry.
Sometime you makes me wonder..
..What makes you love me?

I'm going. Bye.

It's been weeks and it's ending soon. Real soon. 2 more papers and i'm done with the big Os.
Yes, i'm excited, but still i'm worry. Worry of the outcomes. No , don't think i've not given my best. I've put my heart and soul for every paper. I've been studying day and night and i'm praying that my hard work will be worth it. I think that is what every 2008's O levels candidate wants. So, i pray that everyone will achieve a pleasant result. Yes, everyone will have the sastifying and excellent results. I'll pray.

Okay, i'm blogging today due to the time i had. (:

Today was the last paper for the week. It's okay bahh. Anyway, i wouldn't want to talk about it (it's over anyway). So, after papers went to the mall. Been searching for flops, i hate it when i don't have flops. It makes walking difficult for me. HAAH! However, the flops was like super ex can? $24.90 per pair, well well, it's 'diamond' flops though. Really nice. I want it. I even told myself, "I must get it before class chalet." Hen kiasu horr?

Oh, days will be busy after Os though. Very. Events after events. Hah!

And and, i've made a shopping list for myself after Os. (:


Shopping list:

-Tank top.
-Hot pink FBT.
-DIAMOND flops. =go westmall.
-New bag. (black colour) =go BUGIS buy.
-Cotton on FLOPS.
-New watch (:
-Graduation Day clothes.
-New pants.
-New shoes.
-New specs.
-Contact lenses.

And let me tell you, there's more. HAHAHA!

Okay, i better get going now. Bye world.

IF I HAVE TO RATE, I'LL RATE 3/5 FOR THE COFFIN AND 2/5 FOR THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3, BUT 4/5 FOR THE SONGS. (:

*SCREAMS* I want to watch SING TO DAWN (:

Okay, i know i'm so not suppose to be here. I need to have a break. I'm sorry but today's post will be in malay and english. For the sake of speaking in INFORMAL tone. (:

Kelakar can? Hari ni i sepatutnya ikut my parents to go Johor, but i tak ikut. Malaslah seyy plus i need to study. Dah janji hidayu, udin and kelvin. So, pergi lah study. Studying kan lebih important dari Johor. Haah! Even though i know mum will end up shopping, i told myself to let go the shopping and grab the studying hah!

Stayed at the library for hours. I really study. Tolonglah! I need to score for mathematics paper 2 tau! ): Praying hard seyy sekarang. Thanks kelvin ehk for teaching me. (: ! Lepas study, dalam pukul 2 petang gitu gie lunch. Haah! I beli kasut baru and hoodies baru! haah! Tu pun sebab slipa i pecah. SLIPA ?? Selipar kan? Entah lah. haah! Apa apa jek. Asal kan korang faham apa aku nak say. Hee. Lepas lunch, balik library continue study sampai pukul 6 petang. Sampai rumah pukul 7 malam. (:

Oh, tadi my mum says that dia rupanya tak gie shopping lah. Dia pergi rumah abang angkat my father. Kelakar seyy. Moksin Moksin. haha! (: Mak dia lagi kelakar. You see, dari i kecik, this auntie (moksin's mum) always says she wants me to be her daughter in law. haah! Dulu kecik pe, layan jek lah. Then tadi i tak ikut my parents pe. The first thing dia tanya was, "Mana kak cik?" haha! Me tau! Me! hee. Bukan tu jek, ada lagi. Yang ni i ketawa rabak seyy. (:

According to my parents and younger sister the conver went like this:

Moksin's Mum: Actually, abang moksin untuk kak cik. Tapi kak cik pandai. Moksin tak pandai.

haha!! Abang seyy! haha. Entah eh. Dah lama seyy tak jumpa Moksin. Lebih dari 5 tahun. Macam mana dia sekarang.. haha! Kay kay. Hidah dah start merepek. Hah. But people, tolong lah. Me and this moksin takde pape. Kita kawan jek. (:

I rasa, i dah type banyak dah. I better tidur first. Penat sangat. Bye semua.

















informal enough? LOL.

So you even thought of going to her's? I see. I'm crushed. You're wrong when you thought i won't be worried. In fact, everything you thought i will be was directly opposite.

GONE! VANISH. I WANT TO BE ALONE.

I'm having a break from studying. In fact, i want a break from everything people! Yes, everything. I mean every single thing in life but is it possible? Can i afford the time to have a break from everything? Can i overcome every obstacle then? Well, it's up to me to decide cause eventually it's my life. I know.

Switched my mobile phone off yesterday night. As i decided to put everything a side. I do not wish to reply any messages neither do i wish to answer any calls. So people, don't bother to call or message me. Just like what i mentioned above, i want a break from everything.

I'm terribly, horribly bored.

I think i better get going. I'm hitting that POA paper.
Bye world.













ARE YOU REALLY PREPARED? I FELT LIKE YOU'RE NOT. IF YOU'RE NOT LET'S GO AND FIND OUR OWN WAY?

Selamat Hari Raya to everyone. (:

Saturday <3.

I'm running out of words.
Bye world.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock goes the clock.

Yes, it's coming nearer and nearer. Half of me is fear and half of me is confidence.

That's all i can say.
I shall go sleep and wake up early tomorrow to meet Kel and Hidayu.

Bye WORLD.



















NOPE, I WON'T GIVE UP.

Exhausting Wednesday.

Just emailed Mr Ong my 'words' essay. I took 1 hour to finish an essay. 1 HOUR! ): !

It was a great downpour in the morning. Everyone was shivering and complaining. Haah! A nice weather to sleep, trust me (some of my classmates did sleep though).

Let me see the time, 10.54 pm. I'm still awake? Suppose to be snoring at this time. Haah! I'm tired though. I couldn't study anymore for today. My brain just told me, "I need rest." (: ! Indeed, i need rest together with my brain. Yeah!

No one is at home except me and daddy. I'm bored. YAWWNN!

Y.A.W.N.N.N ....

Sleepy.
Yes, sleepy.

Oh, i just realise i'm left with 3 pathetic bucks (or less). I'm goind to be cash-less soon! I will only like regain 10 bucks next week and earn GREEN PACKETS. (: ! Haha. The moment i've been waiting, GREEN PACKETS. Money here i come! haha.

I think i better get going people. My eyes are shutting down anytime.
Bye world. Will update real soon. Night night.













I HATE THE MISSED CALL I HAD LONG LONG TIME AGO.

2nd post for the day. Yes, it's rare for me to post 2 times in one day. Well, what can i say? I'm bored. I need a break from Maths Focus.

I'm still in class. No, i'm not alone of course. Here with me is Andrew, Kelvin, Bing Hui, Shi Han, Rui Xiang, Yee Ting, Crystal, Shanaaz and Hidayu. None is revising as everyone of us is claiming that we need time for a break as we'll be back at work at 6 pm. (: ! 1 more hour to go.

I'm sitting blankly infront of the dusty and laggy computer in my class.

This is boring. Very. Tick Tock Tick Tock goes the clock. However, 6 pm seems to be a long way still. I'm exhausted. Extremely. ): !

Again, i'm blank.

Still blank.
Yup, still.
YES! B.L.A.N.K !
Still!
Empty.
Still.

Okay, i better get going, dearest Yee Ting is asking for the computer. Bye WORKLD. (:

Good afternoon Tuesday.

Yes people, i'm in school. No doubt i'm using the class computer. Blame me? Go ahead, but i'm bored. Haah!

Waiting for dearest Mdm Ho to step in the class and starts our official Maths focus. Starting in half an hour time. I'll be staying here in class for 2 hours. Endure hidah, endure. After maths focus would be chemistry night focus. I'll be exhausted man! Oh god, i need to hold on for 23 more days. No, in fact longer. ): ! Trying hard to survive now.

Prelim results are out. I'm happy with the results cause there's imporvements though there's moderation. Oh well, i should be thrilled with the humoungous improvements i made comparing to my term 3 results (which was dreadful). At least i don't have to disappoint my parents just like how i did for my term 3 results. I'm glad.

Tick Tock Tick Tock. Time is flying. Yes, every seconds is driving me nearer to O levels. I'm working hard, revising every night. And, totally neglected enjoyments! How much i had sacrifice! I will and i must give O levels a great bang and impressed every single individual out there that i can withstand myself and achieve what i've been wanted all along. Yes, especially under my parents, boyfriend and close friends aegis. (: !

Hidayu is sleeping, Ashraff is studying hard perhaps catching up with what he had missed a few days back. Yi Ming is calculating certain stuffs while me? I'm spilling my every words in my mind to you. (: (: !

There's so much to do actually. And so much to explain and so much to type but i'm running out of time. I'm left with exactly 20 minutes before mdm ho enter the classroom. So people, i better get going. Bye!





23 MORE DAYS TO O LEVEL-just like how it is stated on the class white-board.

A very good morning to Saturday.

Yes, i'm awake. At 8.35am. (:

Yesterday was a thrilling day for me. I've told myself that i had no worries anymore to art paper 1. The idiotic coursework. Haah! I'm flashing my pearly whites.

I hated results. I must do well for O levels! I must. Pray for me. I'm left with 30 more days to O levels, it's a survival stage i must tell you. I will swim through the current and i will survive. I promise!

Let's hit back to my life.

Nothing much was happening though. Just that i've not been seeing boyfriend for 2 days and i've not been replying to any messages or answering any calls from him or anyone. I know he is mad at me however he tried to hide it. It's no use. I will know if he's hot under the collar (like hello, it's been 2 years 1 month i'm with him). So, correct me if i'm wrong. Still i know i'm right.

Okay, i think better get going now. I need to complete Frederick's homework and hit my revision.

Bye world.












SINCE YOU DON'T CARE I WILL BE MORE NON-CHALANT.

Good morning Wednesday.

I hate yesterday. I hate the fact that i had to complete the coursework and give school a miss today. If the girls can make it to school, why can't i? I hate myself for missing school today. And i promise, this is the very last time i'm giving school a day off till O levels end.

Art is vanishing tomorrow. It's like finally. I know i won't be scoring as well as i thought i would be but i can't help it. I've told myself that giving up now won't make any different. So, i gave up and do whatever i can do. Now, i predict everyone must be hating me for what i am doing especially Mr Tan. I mean, eventually effort won't be counted in the grades. It's the skills and the toning and etc. I hate this! What's over is over. I can't rewind everything and be the good girl i used to be again. *SCREAMS*.

How can i turn my life into a clean piece again? I'm engulfed with fear, guilt and disappointment. A whirlpool of emotions struck me. Someone, help me. I'm drowning in my own deed.

Let's ignore this art thingy which is almost leads me to jumping off the building. ): !

Well, it is exactly 5 weeks more to O levels. Indeed, time flies very fast. I need to rush my revisions and etc. I just text projONE about my worries. There's no reply yet. I'll wait. O levels, i really need to give it a BANG! I will and i believe i can!

Things i realise this week(ranked):

1. Art coursework is coming to and end.
2. I shouldn't rush when i'm doing my mathematics papers. Especially when i have 2 hours to complete it.
3. I should start doing my tuition homeworks.
4. I can do well in any examinations if i had checked my papers after i'm done.
5. I've been a bad girl towards art.
6. I should stop playing!
7. My dearest kor is attached now. (:
8. I've lost.
9. I need money.
10. Hari raya is coming.

I typed enough. GOODBYE world.

FALLING UNDER EVERYONE'S AEGIS IS JUST WHAT I NEED.

Friday starts early.

Took 105 to school today. I just don't know why but i'm hating the Mass Rapid Transport (MRT). I would be super lazy to drag my feet to the MRT station. So, bus is my transport now. (: !

Today's paper was combined science MCQ, it was fairly done i suppose. It was super lucky me that Miss Lim went through the organic chemistry topic with me yesterday. (: ! After papers i thought i would want to meet mdm ho and asked her about my marks. However, i was thinking what for if i know it will be dreadful? So, i went back home.

Mama was super surprised that i reached home super duper early today. Haah! I admit it was seriously early. Told mum that i was tired. Instead of giving me some chance to sleep, mama drag me along to Clementi to accompany her to the supermarket. SAD! I did though. Bought things and off home. Get my sister's things as she is in the hospital.

At home, after returning from getting my sister's things at the hospital, i fall asleep unintendedly. My sleep was so awesome. HAH! My initial plan was to sleep for an hour or two. I did the otherwise. Slept for complete 4 hours. Mind you. Complete 4 hours! Woke up, bath and break my fast. HAAH!

Day ended with going back to the hospital. I miss my sister like thiiiiisssss much! I miss crapping secrets to her. It's her birthday tomorrow and it just means, she's a year older! Haha. 33 i think? LOL! Buying her an ice cream cake tomorrow. ): !

**Tomorrow morning i will message Zenia up. Meet her and get my canvas.
Tomorrow noon will be going to the hospital to fetch my sister home from hospital.
Tomorrow night will finish up the tuitions homeworks.

And Sunday will be PAINTING!

That's all folks. Bye WORLD.

SO IT'S MY FAULT? THAN MAKE IT THAT WAY CAUSE I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

Thursday is better than i thought it would be.

Morning was as usual. Went to school and sat for my POA prelim paper 2. It was horrible, i admit. No it isn't that horrible. Maybe? I don't know. All i know now is i really need to stop those fucking nonsense and irrtating computer games i've been playing after my studies every night. Kana sigh lah!

Anyway, after papers met my long lost niece. HAAH! Slack at her house and i actually made her a 10th month anniversary card for her lao gong. It was a simple one though. As long as she's happy with it, i'm more than happy. Slack at her place for like zillion hours. Haah! Played uno stacko, chit chat and blah blah blah.

Reach home around the evening. Bath, breakfast and tuition. Tuition was great today. I loved today's. I just love looking at my tuition teacher, she's pretty can? Haah! No, i aint lesbian okay? Haah! I like the last conversation i had with her.

Hidah: Miss Lim, you are a Uni student right?
Miss Lim: Yup. And the notes are crazier than yours.
Hidah: Stress lehh!
Miss Lim: My exams are coming too.
Hidah: OH NO! Yours will be worst.


Tonight was so awesome can?! I was messaging baby. And i suddenly told baby that i feel like drinking green tea. He suggested that he would buy for me. I was like, even if he buy for me how the hell am i going to take it from him? He called me and ask if i need any other tibits and i say no thanks. He called again and i found..

..a bottle of green tea as soon as i opened the door. So, touched. I mean for most people there it's dumb lah. It might be nothing but to me horr, it's like so big thing lahh. Instead of flowers, it's a bottle of green tea. How creative. HAA! Anyway, thanks baby. 我爱你。(: !

Last, i hate MSN today. I couldn't log in. I wanted to ask Unc Ronald the song that he wanted me to download anyway. But.. SAD! Kana sigh. MSN sot liao. Haaiis.

Okay, i guess i better get going (: !

BYE world!

Hello Wednesday.

I'm so craving for ruffles. Buurrgh. I want ruffles ruffles ruffles! Will be going to the shop bahh? And, there goes my 10 bucks that i've been saving for week. HAH! Never mind. (: !

Anyway, i'm alone at home tonight. So, i have the room all to myself. Wahah! (: !

Okay lah i think i better get going. BYE!

blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.
blah blah.


Literally i mean, i'm bored. (:

Day started late for me.

Briefly, today isn't my day. I freaking dislike today. Boyfriend is angry at me. I know. Text him so many times but there's no reply. Maybe he's asleep or maybe he just need time to cool himself down or so. But still, i'm waiting for his reply.

Well, day isn't really that bad afterall i suppose. Watch movies all the way and did a little touch up on my canvas. Then. memorise a little of geography and back to internet to blog.

Life has been seriously crampy for me lately. I don't know why i felt the cramps now. Maybe because of the coming O levels or maybe it's because i've been always disappoint boyfriend by cancelling every plan i had with him. It's either this two. Well, life is not only cramping in the sense of time but also some other problems which i think i should keep it to myself. I'm afraid by saying it all out, i might hurt any of you readers though.

I think i better get going now. I'm still hoping for a message from boyfriend. Waiting.












IF ONLY I COULD SAY THOSE WORDS TO YOU THEN THIS WON'T BE SO COMPLICATED AS IT IS NOW.

If i said i'm about to give up this relationship,
You will run to me and hug me.
"Please don't let go," that's what you will tell me,
You look into my eyes and say that you love me.

If i said i don't trust this will stay for long,
You will take my hands and look into my eyes.
"Trust me, you're my baby," that's what you will tell me.
You kiss my forehead and say that you love me.

If i said i'm afraid they won't like me,
You will stop walking and hold my shoulders.
"It's about me not them," that's what you will tell me.
You put my hand on your chest and say that you love me.

If i said i can't be there with you,
You will dial my number and talk to me.
"You're with me now and forever baby,"that's what you will tell me.
You will sing me a song and say that you love me.

If i said i'm feeling sick,
You will put me to bed and hold my hand.
"Please rest baby," that's what you will tell me.
You will watch me sleep and say that you love me.

If i said i need you,
You will be right here and smile at me.
"All yours now baby,"that's what you will tell me.
You will kiss me softly and say that you love me.

If i said i love you,
What will you do?
What will you tell me?
Will you say you love me like you always do?




(: !

ARGH!

Give me some more time. I need more time to survive this painful journey now. ):

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME! (: haha!

Well, i'm 17. Yes, i'm officially 17. I'm a grown up now. Life will be much more tougher as i grow but i know it's how i learn. Hence, i'm prepared. Prepared to face the obstacles coming ahead. (: !

To people that wishes me a happy birthday , i would like to say THANK YOU! (:

I've celebrated my birthday seriously well.

29 august 2008

Celebrated Teacher's Day in school. Gosh, the concert was dry. It was boring. Seriously. The host didn't make it so happening this year. Too bad. I don't like it. Anyway, went back to class for food, picture taking and happiness. Enjoyed so much in class. We played games, we joke, we laugh.. etc etc. (: !

Everything ended around 11 plus. As usual, shu wen, hidayu, gabriel, kelvin and i can't remember, spread the teacher's day cake's cream on my face as a gift for my birthday. HAAH! it was fun though. After which, helped uncle ronald to clean up the class. (: !

After that, went to orchard to celebrate my birthday with my best friends. (: ! Waited for Li Yan's boyfie at taka. And off to cineleisure to take neoprint and off to vivo to play water. LOL! I was terribly wet. With them, i had an extreme fun. (; ! However, i was angry with baby. But, those sisters of mine and Li Yan's boyfie planned a serious surprised. I love them so much! (: !

Not to forget, presents presents! I love the presents from all of you! (:

Went out for dinner with my family. Had fun too, dinner was extremely delicious. Heeh!

That's all.

30 august 2008

Celebrated my official day. And i was 17 that day. HEHE.

Went to wild wild wet with my family. (; ! Was again, extreme fun. Reached wild wild wet around 2 pm and left at 7.30 pm. (: !

Had so much fun. I love the ride to Ular Lah. Haha. We screamt like hell when actually, we're not afraid at all. WAHAHA! (: It was seriously happening. Had a splashing fun. (: !

That's for the day.



(:PICTURES:








[TEACHER'S DAY. (: ]

[5B2 LOVE. ;]

[A PRESENT FROM HIDAYU.]

[LIKE THE BEAR.]

[THIS IS SERIOUSLY CUTE. I LOVE IT.]

[FROM MUMMY AND DADDY.]

[FROM ADIK AND BABY(boyfriend)]

[CAREBEAR. GOOD LUCK. I LOVE IT.]

[ELMO. LOVE IT!]

[FROM BABY. (:]

[FROM KAKAK. (: ]

HELLO (: !

Glad to come back people. I've been missing for like 'years'. Haha. I was busy academically. Nothing was filling up my days except studies. Sian lorr. Mind my language. (: ! Now i'm back, i have like dozen of story to tell. (: !

Let me begin with my art coursework.
It's a piece of disaster somehow. My sister came down to meet Mr Tan the other day regarding it, i mean, i need that to happen and it did. I'm glad it did and at the same time i'm disheartened too. Reason is, i feel that i can cope better now with other subjects but still i feel that everything had changed, just that i do not know what exactly the everything is. Never mind, i could care less. That's coursework. One big piece of bullshit. I admit.

Next, it's my english O level oral.
GOSH! The conversation question was seriously unexpected as it came out previous year. Hence, i think i did fairly well. However, i still thought that the question about the business thingy is much much much more easier, i will definitely cock up stupid stories man! Argh, just wasn't my luck. That was coversation, as for picture, it was indeed easy. (; ! If it's not because of Mr Ong and Frederick, things will be a disaster for me. I think they are the people i really should thank. (: ! Afterall, oral was okay.

PRELIMS!
Started on Monday, 25 august. Social studies was okay for SBQ perhaps. Chemistry was averagely done. The next day was English paper 1 and 2. Well, i did my very best for the paper.
Feature report popped out for Situational Writting. Afterall, it was already a HINT HINT. haah! Today, i had mathematics paper 1. I missed 3 questions. I hate it so much! I need to buck up for paper 2. Well, i have to!! HAVE TO! Praying and studying hard.

Next week is the September Holidays. 1 week of holidays is too much for an O level student. Still, i need to attend classes most of the days. Not complaining but telling. Heeh! Plus, it will be the start of the fasting month. Fast, time really fly very fast.

Last but not least, i'm getting more and more worry. O level is driving near. Very near in fact. I'm preparing myself but i'm falling weak at the same time. The people around me, my teachers, my family, my tuition teachers are constantly supporting me. Their support were the one that makes me continue the journey and never give up. Thanks a million people.

After O levels, i seriously want to relax myself and catch up with those entertainments i've missed. (: ! Plus, after enough rest, i will hunt for job to earn extra income for myself. Heeh! That's what i will do after Os. (: !


OH, i'm so turning 17 soon. And i can't wait. HAAH!

















IF ONLY I COULD RUN BACKWARDS TO THE PLACE I USED TO BE.

Hello readers.

I feel so asshole. In 3 days, so many things need to be done. Art, revision, memorising, oral.. blah blah blah. Pressurised, but i need to get to work cause in 2 weeks time, Prelim will start. SAD!

Sometimes wonder, can i manage to get every single thing done when there is so little time left. At certain times, i will tell myself "Give up Hidah. Stop those revision, go to sleep." Another me will tell myself "Go on, finish up. Accomplish your goal for the day and only you reward yourself with a peaceful sleep and work harder tomorrow." I always end up influenced by the first one. ASS right? I need more people to yell and scream at me, KAO PEI! Haha.

Let me update the activities i will be doing the next 3 days (: !

Friday, 8 august 2008:

I'll be celebrating National Day in school, sing songs and blah blah. It'll be half day tomorrow. Well, i'm partially wrong, it's not really a celebration. In fact, we are doing somehow somekind of charity work. They called it, "Charity Food Drive" Is it? Oh well, whatever it is.

That's not it for tomorrow. I'll be having physics test after the charity thingy. Damn it, i've not been touching any notes on physics, trust me. I've been so tired this few days , actually it's since boot camp. I need those sleep back. However, i need to sacrifice a little more in another few months time and STRESS will go go go. (: !

That's for tomorrow.

Saturday, 9 august 2008:

It's Singapore's Birthday.

And of all days, my cousin decided to get married on this day. It's stupid, everyone is celebrating National Day parade and my family will be attending his marriage ceremony.

Anyway, it won't be a matter to me though as i'll be attending the ceremony late due to my art coursework. Too bad cousin, i can't help.

Besides the wedding, i need to take pictures of me eating and blah blah for art coursework. Touch up canvas and sketches for prep work. The fonts, blah blah blah. (: !

Sunday, 10 august 2008:

Art will fill up my day. Seriously.

Art, and that's all.


So, readers that's what going to happen. This does not include the notices i put on my noticeboards which is more than this people, MORE THAN THIS. !

I'm getting a day off for tonight. Currently, playing game with boyfriend. (: ! Kay lah i better go.


Bye readers.
















IT'S FUNNY TO REALISE THAT YOUR FACE IS THE ONE THAT MAKES ME ANGRY AND AT THE SAME TIME MAKES ME SMILE.

Hello readers.

I'm back to blog. I've been busy with studies. Well, i've been pushing myself hard for revisions (which i need obviously). Let's update a little about my life.

Academically, i think i'm improving and i am starting a better revision. My night will end up me sleeping with books on my bed. Not saying that i'm doing great but just that, i saw me doing work and i'm happy about it. I need to continue what i am doing now untill i reach the climax, and i've been always telling myself that i need to do this to prove that i can do better. (: !

Personally, it's just sickening to see certain things taking place around me. However at the same time i don't care about the things around me except a few ; my family, my boyfriend and my mei (Shu Wen). That's all.

Basically, that's it.
Bye world.















IF YOU THINK YOU'RE RIGHT THEN YOU'RE WRONG.

I'm exhausted, i bet everyone are. Especially Mr Tan.
An experience to remember, Memories to be kept.

Seriously, boot camp was so much meaningful for me than i thought it would be [though it is somehow tearing me apart].

Staying up super late in school. Complaining about undone sketches [if there's times 2 or there's not]. Being scared whenever Mr Tan's mood turn to be bad bad bad. All the laughter. The teasing. The lunch we had, the dinner we shared. Lastly, of course, THE SLEEPs WE SACRIFICE! Everything, every details, it made the boot camp better than i thought. (: ! Tired but happy[somehow].

Okay Okay, enough of boot camp dramas. (: !

It's over, but still must work as hard as how we did during the camp. (: ! JIA YOU FRIENDs. <3

Mr Tan, thank you for being with us though you're seriously sick. We respect you and appreciate you.












LET'S CONTINUE WORKING HARDER!

The second last day of boot camp.

I just realise that i need more more sketching. Hence, i've been a very guai girl and start a proper research and proper sketches. (: ! Though, there's still some insufficient pictures (which i'm currently seraching for).

Today's boot camp was okay. Tired and worn out but all of us still managed to make sure each one of us, take power naps for only 10 minutes and get back to work. (: ! Hence, it's kind off good for me as i can see i produce something at the end of the day. It's worth my every effort.

We ended boot camp at around 8.30 pm. That was rather fast, i suppose. Well, after boot camp, met boyfriend. He was seriously very very good to me tonight (it's not that he wasn't good to me before). HAAH! I was damn happy. He bought me a VANILLA ICE BLENDED from coffee bean. COFFEE BEAN! I've been craving for it. He bought me dinner too, as i was so noisy and blur cause i was hungry. (: !

And i'm home around 10. (: !

Bye world.

THOUGH I'M TIRED, I DIDN'T GIVE UP.

When everyone is sleeping, i'm awake and keep on drawing.

Yes, i'm working late at night. I need time off, so i decided to blog.

Vanilla ice blended is still not in my hand. I'm so desperate!

I need a watch. Cause i spoilt my watch. I think i should get the 40 bucks watch? Cheap and affordable (; ! LOL!

Sleepy. I need sleep at this hour. ): !

Sweets, i need them to safe me from Art Camp tomorrow. MUST BUY!

Tuition, i want to cancel them all for this week's but... FAT HOPE! ):

Boyfriend, seriously, i sense your appearance here. (: !

Saturday study dates, AWESOME! (: Learn something and had fun. NEOPRINTS taken (; !

Last Friday, LOVELY DAY! (: ! [Pictures will do the talk].

Lastly, getting back to work. BYE WORLD ! (: (:

Was reading Michelle's blog and i found this name thingy, and i tried. Here's the result. (:

What Norhidah Ahmad Dan Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Today, i felt like slapping myself to betray Mr Tan's trust on me for the art coursework. I purposely skip lessons and etc. I continue doing this untill today's afternoon, when he knew that i attended school and required me to see him. I went to see him, and the way he speaks to me just makes me want to tell him the truth which i did, and in the end, i realise i've been selfish towards him. He wanted to help, and i ran away. That isn't suppose to be the way. So, i promise, this won't happen again. (; !

It's like fuck can? Everything seems to be like oh my god! I know i will explode, but at the right time with the right evidence. ASS!

Coffee bean vanilla ice blended still isn't in my hand yet. ): ! I will get it next week, i will. (: !

I think i should go now. (; BYE!


PS: I think, boyfriend's daddy is cool. (: !















I THINK WE OVER DO IT, THAT WE LAUGH AT THE END OF IT.

Perhaps, i think it's human's nature.

People could be this close to you this moment and with one action you made, will make them seems to be very very far from you. The real fact is that you never meant to run away from them. Anger, that's what they potray. And you? Searching for the real reason why and in the end, you gave up and decide to be with yourself and your next closest friend. Also, the fact is, you're never alone cause you have people that loves you ;family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend and a close friend whom hold a same character as you (which makes it double the fun and comfort). (: !

I'm not referring to anyone, but if you think it hitted you, i'm sorry. No offence readers. *

I've totally destroyed my T3 examinations. I failed maths and science so far. My points will be totally above 20. Means, sorry, byebye barbeque. ):

Hating don't know whatever camp! It's irritating! It sucks! And it's a waste of time somehow. How i wish i didn't take art as an elective subject, i shouldn't. ARGH!

COFFEE BEAN VANILLA ICE BLENDED, i'm craving for that. I'm dying for that. I'm falling for that. I'm crying because of that. A bit to dramatic, but i will get a VANILLA ICE BLENDED from coffee bean real soon. A promise to MYSELF!

Saturday is filled up with study date with 2 of my classmate. I'm really looking forward for it to seriously improve my maths score. Thanks guys for the offer to help. I appreciate it.

Lastly, there's actually more to update but i can't update it all now. It's impossible. I need to go.

Goodnight and Goodbye world. (: !
















I'LL PLAY THE CURRENT WITH YOU.

Hello people.

Today i didn't attend my religious class, for a reason. (:

So, in the morning, i followed my parents to the market and brought back home breakfast. Ate breakfast and off to wash daddy's bike. (: ! I was super good can today? I didn't ask daddy for money (which i usually do when i wash his bike). LOL! It took both me and my maid around a hour to complete washing daddy's bike.

After washing daddy's bike, went home and watch two korean movie ;See you after school and S diary. Both are nice to watch. (: ! So, after that played game. After one hour of computer game, went to continue watching another korean movie ;200 pounds beauty. Which i manage to watch halfway only cause mummy wanted to go to my nephew's birthday party, which makes him 3 years old. Cute one. (: ! So went to his place and sang the birthday song and he was smiling ear to ear when my all of relatives clapped loudly for him. (: ! Super cute. Hee. Wasn't long at his place though cause daddy wanted to go off to IMM.

So, after the party we went off to the IMM. Took like hours at that place for something then went dinner and i ended my day there. Kinda boring but, worth it, cause a day spent with my family is the day i should treasure. (: !













IF ONLY.

I hate today.

Firstly, i'm not feeling well.

Well, today's paper was okay. It wasn't really hard except for the disposal thingy. So, i guess, i can make it for POA then. However, other subjects? I'm afraid.

I don't wish to talk about what happened after papers today.

There's no more i can talk about. I think i'm off. Bye world.













I KEPT QUIET BECAUSE I'M AFRAID I WILL WALK AWAY, LEAVING YOU ALONE THERE.

I NEED AIR TO BREATH.


















































FUCK LAHH!

Telah ku cuba menghindari.

There's no school today. However, it's just another chaotic day. My today is a failed to plan day. How couldn't it be? Travelling from this place, to that place, back to this place then to another place then back to that place. Oh my! Bus trips all the way.

I didn't really sleep yesterday. After confessing things to boyfriend, it makes me cry the whole night. I was just breathless by the guilt i was wrapped in. It's like as though a bullet penetrate into my heart, painful. How could i be so selfish? I hate myself for everything i did to boyfriend. But, some say, why should i as he did the same before? I answer that question myself, "Cause he's the one, who have been constantly telling me to be patience and believe that this relationship will be somewhere together with happiness. Cause he's the one, who have been continuingly supporting me. Cause he's the one, that my friends know. Cause i he's the one, that i once promise to give him another chance." All i wanted is god to let my parents see, who he really is to me. And for him to see who is the one i really love between the two.

I think, i've typed enough. I shall go now. Bye world.













TILL TONIGHT, I COULDN'T FORGET HOW SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DON'T FAVOUR YOU. I FELT A KNIFE PENETRATING MY HEART INSTANTLY.